-Show Me-

So there's this new Christian artist that I've grown to love. Her name is Audrey Assad and her songs are phenomenal.

The lyrics that God has blessed her heart with, have really encouraged me in this touch time to let God carry me and have complete control.

One song in particular really got to me. It's called "Show me". I'll give you the lyrics and then I'll rant about why and how much I love them :)

-Show Me-

You could plant me like a tree beside a river

You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild

And I would blossom like a flower in the desert

But for now just let me cry

You could raise me like a banner in a battle

Put victory like fire behind my shining eyes

And i will drift like falling snow over the embers

But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones

Mercy bend and breathe me back to life

But not before you show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning

Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep

And i'll illuminate the path you've laid before me

But for now just let me be

Bind up these broken bones

Mercy bend and breathe me back to life

But not before you show me how to die

No not before you show me how to die

So let me go like a leaf upon the water

Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea

And i will disappear into a deeper beauty

But for now just stay with me

God, for now just stay with me

This song just boggles my mind because I've never heard a song about God showing us how to die. 

When we hear the word "die" we automatically think of physical death and I guess that song could be used in that sense, but I think if you look at it deeper, it's about dying to self. We can't just immediately expect to die to self ourselves.....we are a people that follow by example. God shows us how to die to self and that's my plea for every day; that God will show me how to die. My interpretation could be completely off, but that's what I get from it. God is our example and His children follow by example...even to death.

I love how Audrey conveys how much the "pleader" in this song wants mercy and for God to bring him/her back to life, but they want death first. This song is just incredibly clever in every sense and it's been a tremendous comfort this week.

I love how God gives me new insight when I desperately need it....

Living in Worship

As I sit here in my room, I can't help but stare at this little piece of canvas, painted a bright shade of green and with these words on it; "Live a life of WORSHIP for your God".

A friend of mine, Ashley, made that for me and gave it to me as a Christmas gift last year. I was, and still am, thankful for that gift because I wake up every morning and it's the first thing I see. It's a great reminder to me how I need to live my day in worship for my God.

What is sad is that I fail to live a life of worship every day. I put up a huge front for people so that they think that I have it all together, that I trust God completely with everything and that my heart is right & in tune with God.

I know that I've said that "I don't have it all together" and that "I need to get my life back on track with God", but I don't think it has become more real to me than it has now.

I just got done talking to God and just pouring myself out for Him to see everything. That was really hard because I never realized the intensity of really talking with Him about the dirtiness of my life and telling Him how I really feel about stuff.

Whenever I talk to God in private, I feel the freedom to be completely transparent with Him and to tell Him things that I would never tell anyone else. I treasure that kind of relationship that I have with Him. In fact, David has been the most inspiring reason for my complete honesty with God.

If you look at the Lament Psalms (i.e. Psalm 59, 56, 34, 142, 63, 52, 54, 57, 7, 60, 51, 3 & 30) you can see how transparent David's heart is. He knew that he couldn't hide anything from God so he laid it all out for Him to see. At times, God was even astounded by David's honesty and named him "a man after His own heart" (Acts 13:22).

Even though I lead worship for many congregations, I still often lose sight of the bigger picture and God has His way of reminding me of what true worship is all about. Live a life of WORSHIP for your God.... nowhere in that sentence does it say "sing a song of worship for your God".

It's not about music or any other art that we use in our worship services in the church.....it's about complete surrender. One of the greek words that made up the word "worship" actually means "dog". Think about how a dog acts; they love unconditionally, they can sense when they're needed, they obey (when they're not stubborn)....

Worship is an act of love, care and obedience toward the One, true living God. We are to love Him unconditionally...just as He loves us without condition. And as we live out that life of worship for God, we reflect that love to other human beings who may not have even heard about Christ.

A song that has truly spoken to my heart about this whole thing is a song by Matt Redman called "The Heart of Worship". The story behind this song is actually quite inspiring in and of itself.

Redman's pastor, Mike Pilavachi, decided to get rid of the sound system and music for a season so that the congregation could be brought back to the heart of what true worship is. You can read the full story at this link: http://www.crosswalk.com/1253122/

Here is the fruit of that situation:

-The Heart of Worship-

When the music fades

And all is stripped away

And I simply come

Longing just to bring

Something that's of worth

That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song

For a song in itself

Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within

Through the way things appear

You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it

It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus

King of endless worth

No one could express

How much You deserve

Though I'm weak and poor

All I have is Yours

Every single breath

I'll bring You more than a song

For a song in itself

Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within

Through the way things appear

You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it

It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus

I don't have it all together, I'm not a super Christian, I don't know my Bible inside and out, I fail at attempting to live a life of worship every day for God, there are a lot of things in life that I still regret and I'm still learning to trust God with those things and to give them to Him, I struggle with things, I'm human, I'm not perfect........and I can't live life on my own. I can proudly and honestly say that I need God...

I've tried the whole "being an independent Christian" thing, but I fell straight on my face in doing so. I could never be independent from God.