As I sit here in my room, I can't help but stare at this little piece of canvas, painted a bright shade of green and with these words on it; "Live a life of WORSHIP for your God".A friend of mine, Ashley, made that for me and gave it to me as a Christmas gift last year. I was, and still am, thankful for that gift because I wake up every morning and it's the first thing I see. It's a great reminder to me how I need to live my day in worship for my God.
What is sad is that I fail to live a life of worship every day. I put up a huge front for people so that they think that I have it all together, that I trust God completely with everything and that my heart is right & in tune with God.
I know that I've said that "I don't have it all together" and that "I need to get my life back on track with God", but I don't think it has become more real to me than it has now.
I just got done talking to God and just pouring myself out for Him to see everything. That was really hard because I never realized the intensity of really talking with Him about the dirtiness of my life and telling Him how I really feel about stuff.
Whenever I talk to God in private, I feel the freedom to be completely transparent with Him and to tell Him things that I would never tell anyone else. I treasure that kind of relationship that I have with Him. In fact, David has been the most inspiring reason for my complete honesty with God.
If you look at the Lament Psalms (i.e. Psalm 59, 56, 34, 142, 63, 52, 54, 57, 7, 60, 51, 3 & 30) you can see how transparent David's heart is. He knew that he couldn't hide anything from God so he laid it all out for Him to see. At times, God was even astounded by David's honesty and named him "a man after His own heart" (Acts 13:22).
Even though I lead worship for many congregations, I still often lose sight of the bigger picture and God has His way of reminding me of what true worship is all about. Live a life of WORSHIP for your God.... nowhere in that sentence does it say "sing a song of worship for your God".
It's not about music or any other art that we use in our worship services in the church.....it's about complete surrender. One of the greek words that made up the word "worship" actually means "dog". Think about how a dog acts; they love unconditionally, they can sense when they're needed, they obey (when they're not stubborn)....
Worship is an act of love, care and obedience toward the One, true living God. We are to love Him unconditionally...just as He loves us without condition. And as we live out that life of worship for God, we reflect that love to other human beings who may not have even heard about Christ.
A song that has truly spoken to my heart about this whole thing is a song by Matt Redman called "The Heart of Worship". The story behind this song is actually quite inspiring in and of itself.
Redman's pastor, Mike Pilavachi, decided to get rid of the sound system and music for a season so that the congregation could be brought back to the heart of what true worship is. You can read the full story at this link: http://www.crosswalk.com/1253122/
Here is the fruit of that situation:
-The Heart of Worship-
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
It's all about YOU, it's all about YOU Jesus
I don't have it all together, I'm not a super Christian, I don't know my Bible inside and out, I fail at attempting to live a life of worship every day for God, there are a lot of things in life that I still regret and I'm still learning to trust God with those things and to give them to Him, I struggle with things, I'm human, I'm not perfect........and I can't live life on my own. I can proudly and honestly say that I need God...
I've tried the whole "being an independent Christian" thing, but I fell straight on my face in doing so. I could never be independent from God.
1 comment:
So true, so true. I can hear my own heart echoing your thoughts. It is hard to know the truth, but fail to live in it. Well, I wanted to share a thought I read with you. I'm working on the Beth Moore study "Esther: it's tough being a woman." In my study today, Beth wrote - Satan can't win and we can't lose. Then she want us to meditate on that and share our own thoughts. This is what I wrote: I'm sitting here pondering the question. I'm not a big fan of pain or suffering, and I do not enjoy the idea of loss, either. However, I'm beginning to see why God is constantly trying to get us to let go of our grip on the temporal things. Satan knows he can't win, but he plans to inflict as much pain, suffering, and loss as he can. He's also a liar. He isn't going to tell us he has lost. He is going to milk his acting skills for all they are worth - trying to convince us that he is winning; that he is going to destroy, kill, and annihilate us. He wants us to hold onto the temporal because it gives him a sick satisfaction to yank it away. He wants us to feel afraid of losing things and people because it feeds his lie. If we were able to "let go" of this life and just live unafraid of loss and pain, would he have any power at all? If we were able to find joy in the middle of suffering, we would find an immense victory. I'm not saying there wouldn't be tears or sadness, after all - Jesus wept. But that level of personal holiness - only found through God - is a mighty weapon against the enemy.
I know that you are experiencing a season of loss, but Satan has not won. In fact, Jesus has the victory. Your friend has slipped through the confinement of this life and is even now enjoying the perfect peace and rest promised by the Father. There is reason to rejoice even in the middle of suffering.
Much love to you from this big sister.
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