Today I was reading Romans 11 and a few things stood out to me.
The last few verses of the entire chapter just kind of did something inside of me. I have yet to determine how I actually felt or what actually happened inside of my heart, but I'll let you know as soon as I figure that out.
~Verses 30-36~
"For just as you were at one time disobedient to God but now have received mercy because of their disobedience, so they too have now been disobedient in order that by the mercy shown to you they also may now receive mercy. For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all. Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." ESV
"There was a time not so long ago when you were on the outs with God. But then the Jews slammed the door on him and things opened up for you. Now they are on the outs. But with the door held wide open for you, they have a way back in. In one way or another, God makes sure that we all experience what it means to be outside so that he can personally open the door and welcome us back in. Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never figure it out. Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes." The Message
I guess I felt a sense of "awe" because every attribute of God is unfathomable. "We'll never figure it out". That is probably one of the most frustrating things, for me personally, in my walk with Christ....not being able to know or understand where He is leading or why He is doing a certain thing in my life.
One thing that I quickly forget all of the time is that I can get a glimpse of what God has for me...if I just take the time to experience Him and converse with Him every day. Sadly, I don't do that every day. My excuses are that I don't have time, I'm too busy, I feel like He isn't with me anyway so why do it?, and all of my excuses are self-centered.
I can still experience God even if I may feel like He isn't there. Believe it or not, that is do-able. Sometimes I experience God at work when I least expect it. It's like "Surprise! I'm doing something in your life right now!!".
So often I find myself demanding things from God; not praying, not humbly asking....but demanding! I always do that! I know that I shouldn't, but I do it anyway because I feel like I need the things that I'm demanding of Him....when in fact....I just need Him and His love.
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