I Want to Be Confident!

So it just hit me today that this is the last week of classes before finals week and....I am drowning in assignments that still are not done, songs that are not ready, and thoughts of having to take certain classes over again.

I'm not looking for a pity party at all; I'm just venting. It's always better to get things off your chest in some way.

As of right now I feel like a complete idiot when it comes to the technical side of music. Part writing, line analysis, harmonic dictation, rhythmic dictation, melodic dictation, among other things are getting harder and harder for me to grasp and understand....IT'S THE LAST WEEK OF CLASSES!! It's basically too late for me to get up to speed on things and knowing that I may have to re-take Music Theory 2 and Sight Singing/Ear Training 2 is not a pleasant thought to have on my mind.
I love music and I love learning new things about it.....it's one of my passions, but for some reason it's just hard to grasp certain concepts at a fast pace. I honestly thought it would be easier than it is. I even cried in class because I failed the ear training part of my sight singing/ear training test.
I guess what I don't understand is that if God placed music on my heart, why am I doing so badly? Why can't I understand it as easily as others?

I'm at the point where I am so frustrated with music that I'm starting to question my passion. Is music really what God wants? What is He doing?
Not being on board with what God is doing is not what I want. I want to be able to know what He's doing right now and be confident. I don't want to doubt myself. I want to throw all of this technical crap out of the window and just sing. All I've wanted to do in my life is sing for God and share His love to the world through my music.

I am just at a loss as to what to do. I know that I need to seek God and converse with Him about what He is doing, but for some reason it doesn't seem like that is enough. I just want His will for my life to slap me in the face and direct me in the right way.
I want to be confident in the passion that He has set upon my heart.

I can't let these little technical things get in the way of the big picture. I just honestly don't want to cry every time I go to Sight Singing/Ear Training....I want to actually be excited to learn something new and to apply it to my music. I really want to succeed and I can't do that without God. He is my success and I need to be more confident in Him.

Ok I'm done venting....promise :)